How THE MALE ANGLER FISH gets completely SCREWED. THE OATMEAL HTTP://THEOATMEAL.COM. From birth, a male angler fish is basically worthless; he's small, weak, and can barely find food. Hey dood, I'm fresh out of the womb and I generally suck at life. Could you spot me some of that crab you're eating? I don't even need a decent piece, just let me gna